Friday Faves: My Barbies, Myself

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It's 💖💖 Barbie™️ Friday 💖💖, my beautiful babes–how are you blessing this holiday and keeping it holy? My personal Barbiemania has reached a fever pitch, and I'm not only excited to finally experience the movie but also digging back deep into the caverns of my very selective memory (thanks ADHD!) to remember some of the many Barbies I loved as a child. I deeply love that today's Barbies are more diverse and inclusive than ever, but that blonde-haired blue-eyed spectre looms large in my nostalgic subconscious.

Looking back, I realized I didn't have any of the "professional" Barbies of the era (Doctor Barbie, Veterinarian Barbie) or any of the big fancy collector Barbies (Annual Holiday Barbies, Bob Mackie Barbies). All my Barbies were regular-degular, frequently played with, outfits mix & matched, well-loved with messy hair. In celebration of the Summer of Barbie, I went back to find my favorite ones, the ones that stay stuck in my memory as icons of my 80's-90's childhood. C'mon, Barbies, let's go party!

Dancing Action Barbie and the Rockers (1986)

The true 80's rock Barbie

Y'all, Dancing Rocker Barbie was fun as hell, and fueled my brief, young dreams of rock stardom before I realized I can't carry a tune. You pushed a little button on her back (hence the crop top, duh) and she rocked back and forth from her waist while zig-zagging her arms AND she came with a cassette tape of an original Barbie & the Rockers single. It's now blatantly obvious that this was Mattel's answer to the Hasbro usurper Jem & the Holograms that came pre-packaged with its own cartoon show (which I also loved feverishly).

I never had any Jem dolls, much I loved the cartoon and wanted Rio with his purple tufted hair way more than any Ken. This is such a bizarre little hyper-fixation, but I wanted that wrist cuff with the floor-length fringe so badly. It was so cool, so unique, and it made many appearances in hundreds of remixed outfits over the years. This Barbie lives in my head rent-free, and I'm glad to have her staying there.

Cool Times and All-American Barbie and Teresa

What could they have been?

Confession: I only had a couple of Kens, and they were all part of a set with their matching Barbies–no à la carte Kens for me, thanks. I did, however, have a couple of coordinating Barbies & Teresa duos for reasons still unknown to me. Being a little white girl in suburbs, I did not have any Asian or Black Barbies, but Teresa was introduced in 1988 and I had Cool Times Teresa when she first came out, juicy burger and jumprope in hand.

Teresa is Barbie's Latine best friend and sidekick, and I learned only yesterday that she will not be appearing in the Barbie movie! Maybe it's because Barbie's friend group now consists of various other Barbies, but Midge AND Skipper are both in the movie, too! Maybe the diverse non-Barbies are being phased out–there are only four Teresa dolls currently listed among the many, many Barbie variants for sale online. Ana Cruz-Kayne is playing the Latine Barbie in the movie, so perhaps all is yet to be revealed...

Anyway, Teresa was cool as hell.

Big Hair Barbies

The ultimate 90's blondes

Barbie hair is a strange substance–anyone who has ever taken a doll's hair down from its out-the-box styling can fully attest to the dark magic conjured once this irreversible action occurs. Such was the genius of these luxuriously long, loose-haired Barbies of the early 1990s, so much so that Totally Hair Barbie is the best-selling Barbie of all time, with more than 10 million sold and the world record for the longest successful toy run of four years on the market.

I've been a short-haired girl for most of my life, so it was interesting to be reminded that I had three extra long-haired Barbies between 2nd and 3rd grade: right around the time my dad took me to the salon and I opted for my first short haircut of my own volition. Was it subconcious on my part, or subliminal from the adults in my life? I can't remember if I picked any of these out myself or if they were given to me. Regardless, Hollywood Hair Barbie is the prettiest of all three and has the best outfit AND pink stars appeared in her hair when you used the little spray included, so clearly she's the best.

Caboodles Barbie (1992)

Barbie BEEN brand synergizing, folks–catch up!

I don't know if there's any more accurate symbol of early '90s girlhood than this co-branded match made it pink-aisle heaven. For you fellas who may not know, Caboodles managed to make girls thirst for pastel tackle boxes (literally) and suddenly it felt extremely important to keep your favorite things organized in this opaque, self-contained space (I have two to this day). Plus, she had sneakers! She was a gal on the go!

There have been Coca-Cola Barbies, McDonald's Barbies, Disney Barbies (not to be confused with the actual Disney Princess dolls), Star Wars Barbies, Benneton Barbies, National Geographic Barbies, various US Armed Forces Barbies, Scooby-Doo Barbies...among many, many more. Barbie is not just a brand unto herself, she can help boost other brands to her level. As someone who works in Marketing, that most tenuous and fragile of industries these days, game gotta recognize game.

Barbies Doin' Stuff

It's what Barbies do!

If there's one thing we can universally agree upon, it's that Barbie has many, many hobbies and interests, a true Renaissance woman. She may have started as a fashion doll, sure, but she's evolved into something much more, which is why I think she's been so consistent in popular culture for 60+ years. She's an Ice Capades skater who also happens to love working out (then putting on a cute skirt for the club!) and rollerblading! She's also a chef, TV news anchor, a career girl, a Starfleet officer, a race car driver, a multi-sport Olympic athlete, a marine biologist, a dentist, a yoga teacher, and everything above, beyond, and in-between.

And while some of these pursuits have landed her in hot water ("Math is hard!" anyone?), the sheer amount of interests and jobs and iconic women she's embodied over the years is never quite so fervently discussed so much as her body and whether she's a bad influence. "Unrealistic"? Yeah, she's a doll.

I know Barbie's eternally pert, sizable boobs and lack of hips are used as plastic surgery and eating disorder inspiration; I'm not discounting that depth of cultural cache she has or disparaging anyone's experience. But she never made me feel bad about my own chunky, brunette, pear-shaped, short-haired, near-sighted self and I don't know anyone else whose self-image was negatively impacted by playing with Barbie dolls (many more things were achieving that across society, thanks). If anything, it mattered not at all to my scatter-brained little self, who tended to leave naked Barbies strewn about until my mother got fed up and made me play "Dress the Barbies."

I may be in the minority and it could be a neurodiverse synapse that never fired in my weird brain, but for me, it was always about the options and opportunities Barbie offered. I've wanted to be a Laker girl, a ballerina, a writer, an executive in a corner office, a yarn shop/yoga studio owner, a welder, an esthetician, a cannabis farmer, a landscape designer, and many, many more to varying degrees throughout my life, and just seeing so many of Barbie's ambitions pursued made me understand that I could try, too. And if for some reason, it didn't work out, it wasn't the end of the world; I could make a change and try something new and different. That's a powerful message to a girl who never really knew what she wanted to do when she grew up and the woman who still doesn't know sometimes.

Astronaut Barbie (1985)

The one that got away

If Dancing Action Rocker Barbie lives in my head rent-free, Astronaut Barbie is a spectre of what could have been. I must have been barely a year old when I first saw the commercial, but it imprinted upon me to the extent that I can still sing the jingle note for note and see her bounding among the moonrocks before dancing in the club (also ostensibly on the moon) as true #lifegoals. Because, yeah, it might be impractical for her to bring a miniskirt and tights with her to space, why the hell shouldn't she?

No matter where Barbie went, no matter her career, there was always fun to be had. Barbie wasn't a clock-watcher, a wannabe influencer, an office drone, a sad sack, a quiet quitter; even if she was just baking cakes and keeping bees or slinging Avon and Mary Kay or working as a grocery cashier, she was damn well going to have fun doing it. If anything empowered me to believe that you can be an astronaut AND work the dance floor, that you don't have to choose one or the other of any given pointless binary, it was Astronaut Barbie—and I never even got to play with her.

That's why Barbie and the Barbie movie matter to me so deeply. Barbie is vast, she contains multitudes, and she showed me that I did too—and it was okay for me to embrace them and enjoy them.

This wraps up our special Barbie Friday edition of The Enthusiast! Thank you for reading and if you're not already subscribed, you should sign up (it's free!). Be sure confirm via email to get each issue direct to your Inbox. If you're already a fan, forward this newsletter along to a friend and spread the enthusiasm.

Stay tuned for Sunday Reads to wrap up your weekend, but until then, understand that you too are vast and contain multitudes, and we girls can do anything, right, Barbie?

Yours in Glamour and Adventure That's Out of This World,
LKH

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